My Heart...My Poems

No flowers, No music, No food Last minute, thrown together plans Standing on a stage platform In front of a play's heaven Small and intimate Sixteen people in attendance The couple and a pastor Who baptized them both Short and sweet Fifteen minutes of talking No objections And only a couple of mistakes Two small rings, A heartfelt prayer, And the exchange of vows To legalize the contract Nothing extravegant To join a man and woman As husband and wife But it embodied the perfect symbol For the simple love of a young couple Eager to begin the rest of their lives

Memories haunt me, following my every move Like two bright eyes hunting in the midst of darkness Forcing me to look deep into orbs of danger Unwanted reminders of the things I've done The fear of not knowing What is lurking behind the light Cautiously waiting A sitting target in the night If I reach out will the eyes attack? There is just too much unknown Patience is striping away Teaching me to embrace despair Knowing that misery is better than no emotion at all Wanting to break free and missing what used to be Might just end up killing me The past is done and gone But here my mind and heart collide The need to let go To enjoy the reward of overcoming so much It is right there waiting But something is holding me back The pain of life runs deep and I am still young I have so much more to come Future hopes intersected By heart-cries from long ago Tears keep falling Voices taunt me about all I've lost And all I risk losing by holding on Surrendering to this unknown Might be my on

You say you can read minds So you must know The hate I feel And the way you've hurt my soul Yelling and cursing Pointing out every flaw And letting anger say Everything is my fault If you can read minds Then you have learned The ways I used to hurt myself My memories should also be yours Memories of cutting myself, Forcing down the alcohol, And giving away my innocence Should come to mind Instead, the real me Sits right behind a string of lies Lies I only tell you Because I don't think you'd approve Of the decisions and actions that define Your grown up little girl You say you can read minds Maybe its the truth But can you honestly read mine? You just know so little about my life I've thought too many bad thoughts, Told too many lies, Made too many mistakes For you to not hold them all against me At every chance So keep lying to yourself Just like I lie to you And maybe someday I'll let you learn the truth