My Heart...My Poems

Inside I feel as if we are falling apart And I am the one to blame I don't know if you have sensed it But this is the way I feel I try to stop it You know I love you But I feel as if you are slipping through my fingers And away from my heart I feel helpless and useless There is nothing I can do or say To stop these feelings from coming But I guess that I should feel lucky That my heart still feels at all

Sitting here all alone Thinking back to those haunting words I can't seem to get them out of my mind Wondering what they mean And why they were said I can't help but think the speaker hates me Or feel like I will ruin your life I never want to lose you But I don't want to feel guilty for holding you back I am scared that I am slowly losing you Worried that I am dying inside His words are draining me He is tearing me apart And doesn't even realize it So please talk to me Tell me it will all be okay Cause somehow I always believe The loving words you speak to me Wipe away my tears and tell me you love me Make me feel whole again Bring back the passion Don't let him tear us apart Alone, I am not strong enough But together I believe we can overcome Lets stop those haunting words That imply I will someday ruin you Or cause your untimely death So save me from myself

I remember when long ago All I could do was dream Of finding true love I remember when long ago My wrists sorrowfully showed my pain As did yours I remember when long ago Life held no meaning I felt as if I was being forced to play a game I remember when long ago I felt as if my closest friends Were abandoning me I remember when long ago Alcohol became a dear friend As I tried to drink away my sorrows I remember when long ago You stepped into my life And managed to change all of that Later I will remember How good it felt For your love to fill my heart

I sing the hymns, they sound so sweet They touch the deepest parts of me So tell me why I think about you And not Him I hear a voice that sounds so near 'I love you' is what it says So tell me why I hear you And not Him I picture walking through those pearly gates Following the golden roads So tell me why I'm walking with you And not Him At times I feel so lonely I call out for help and strength So tell me while I call to you And not Him He is supposed to be put first in my life But somehow he seems to fall second So tell my why my number one is you And not Him I try to love Him But I feel as if I'd be abandoning you So tell me why I'm telling you And not Him I've tried to explain Why you seem to mean so much more I figure I've just grown Too dependent of your love So somehow I will have to make it up to Him For I will not be ashamed of showing my love to you And not Him

The pressure is unbearable But I can't figure out why I want to keep trying Because I love you so much But every time it makes me cry And still I don't know why I know you love me, I love you too Its supposed to be something special But somehow the stress Caused by a lack of time Makes me feel dirty inside And still I don't know why It feels good after the initial pain fades But it doesn't seem to be enough Somehow the tension doesn't go away And still I don't know why Uncontrollably the tears begin to fall I just don't know how to stop them They make me feel empty inside And still I don't know why Afterwards you have to leave me That I understand Then I call you To hear you say you love me And that I really do mean something special to you I listen to you because I trust you I believe you wouldn't tell me lies Hearing your voice And all of the loving things you say It always makes me feel so much better About us and

Someday we will look back On what is now our uncertain future Try to look past the bad times And remember the good I hope we can succeed So why can't we do that now Right at this very moment We know it is possible So why can't we believe Maybe because the bad times Are currently out weighing the good But together they will make our future The best it can possibly be So in the end when we stop to look back The bad times will have turned into good ones For the sake of our love and friendship To stand against the test of time So I will love you through the good and the bad So that I will be given a chance To love you forever

I keep asking myself Why does he love me?  Me of all people? But then I ask, why do I love him? And why can't I see myself without him? Why has my life changed to revolve solely around him? All of these questions and I have no answers No reasons as to why I guess we'll just never know This raises another question How do we stay together? I guess because we know what we have is real I am sure you are asking How can we be sure of that? I say because of our experience and intuition Tells us it can be All of these unanswered questions Stir conflict from time to time But we have learned that after The things we didn't mean to say have settled And we have long forgotten The things we didn't mean to do The only thing that remains Is our love for one another And I believe that is enough To thrive on for the rest of our lives

Many people spend their entire lives Searching for their one true love Their soul mate Well I can say that I am truly blessed I have already found my match My one and only true love I was sent an angel from heaven He saved me from self-destruction He has shown and taught me things I would have never learned If he had not come into my life The great matchmaker in the sky Sent him to me for a very special reason Because he is who I need to meet Us falling in love Might have been part of His great plan The plan that is still in progress But all I know is I am very glad To be madly in love with you And to be loved in return I suppose it is fair to say That our great matchmaker Who is watching us from above Knows what He is doing Hopefully He has planned for us to last To wed and grow old together So please matchmaker I think I have met my match So I ask if I can keep him For as long as I possibly can Because I have become lost in his love And I never want To

My love for you will last forever Even if someday I am no longer in love with you Or am no longer yours There will still be a part of my heart That will never let go of you You will always be a precious memory Even though I hope You will remain my sweet reality I say all of this to show you What you mean to me You mean more than you'll ever know I love you and I wish For you to someday be my groom But if my wedding day comes And me and you have faded away Know that when I look deep into his eyes At least for one brief moment I will see your face And think how I still love you But at this moment our love is strong And I wish to see you standing at the alter As I slowly walk to meet you However we cannot predict our fate We just have to take our risks And go as far as we possibly can Before our sweet time comes to an end No matter what the circumstances might be So please stay with me As long as your heart allows Even though You will always remain a prec

Once again the day has come The day society uses to celebrate love But this time our love Means so much more It is our second Valentine's Day together And this time I feel it is So much more important that the first Our first Valentine's Day We had just begun our new relationship But now a year later things have changed We are more than just best friends We are lovers and soul mates And I believe I am truly blessed To be entering this love dedicated holiday Once again with you Cause you are the only one Extraordinary enough to fill That place in my heart So to tell you once again I am in love with you My lovely valentine

I feel like I'm falling Right back into that deep black hole Once more I'm reaching out Screaming for someone to help me I look up at you pleading desperately Wanting you to catch me And pull me back to you I watch you reach out to me But your grasp falls short Your face is all I can see And you look so very scared Scared for me and my safety Here recently you just haven't been able To be there for me like you used to As you continue to reach out for me It slowly starts to sink in But don't think That any of this is your fault Instead I believe Those closest to us are trying to rip us apart They have turned against us And are doubting our love Our bond has been stretched and strained But no matter how tense our situation becomes I will always reach out for you Because I know that you will never Let me hit rock bottom I know that no matter what happens You love me And you will always bring me back to you

I know that enough time has passed For me to accept the consequences We are having to face But everyday I have to go Without seeing you or hearing your voice The pain of that day hits me once again Stronger each time I feel as if it was all my fault We both knew better But the temptation was just too great We will have to pay for it for quite some time I know you blame yourself I wish there was a way I could change that But instead I found a more peaceful way to look at it I have decided that both of us are at fault Only not for what you think It is not our fault for breaking the rules But for being so caught up in our love I have searched my whole life For a love as pure as yours So no matter what happens Our love will make all of the consequences More than worthwile All we have to do is hold on And no one will be able to punish us For our love ever again And for the first time We will be free

Once again I have been struggling I try to open up And everyone simply tells me To give it up to God Most of the time I do But there is still one thing I just haven't been able to give up quite yet That one thing would happen to be us We have our fair share of troubles and trials But I just can't seem to let them go I am afraid that if I do I will lose you forever I am afraid that God will ultimately decide We are not right for one another How do I ever get over my fear God is my savior So do I let myself lay all my trust in Him I know it isn't always easy But everyone seems to be against us Society things we've lost our minds Statistics say we'll never last All I want is to fight Fight all of their doubt and harsh ridicule So I cannot find the will to let it all go I want to hold our love dear If only I would listen just long enough To know that God won't hurt me I should know that but I just find it hard to believe But I will work o

I used to be a locked up soul With cold stone walls Built up to protect my  heart I thought I needed them And that I was doing myself a favor I didn't want to let people in On my dark hidden secrets But somehow you slipped through the cracks And forever changed my life You tore down those walls Without even blinking an eye You somehow melted the coldness That had taken over my heart I've told you personal things That no one else will ever know I now realize those walls were keeping me From truly living You opened my eyes And now I will never be the same I am now the person I want to be I am the person Destined to spend my life with you And that is all I want to be You are the only think I have found Worth living for You own my heart And that is how I want it to be Because you are the only one To ever get through those walls And now I never want you to leave

You are my... first love soul mate only lover best friend great protector true love favorite high You have the power to... cheer me up change my day bring a smile to my face make me laugh work out my knots make me fall in love all over again turn my dreams into reality To me you are... all I've ever wanted absolutely perfect all I'll ever need my other half someone who loves me for who I am my sole inspiration the only man I'll ever love

No matter how honest a person seems to be There are always things you don't know They may simply hide things Or lie to those closest to them From experience I have learned There are things you don't tell strangers And other things that it is best For those you love not to know But I have found a place Where I can be my true and honest self In that place I can express anything From tears of sadness to tears of joy I can let it all go and never be ashamed Or fear I might have to face some horrible consequence In that place Being myself is the only thing I am expected to be I have found that I love that place No other place could compare To the comfort, hope and peace I feel in my wonderful place That place is my own, I do not have to share Cause that place is wrapped in your arms The arms that will hold me tight Until the end of time

My love for you is of complicated sorts But still I love you More than anyone else ever could I say complicated for many different reasons At times I love you without a shadow of a doubt And at other times the fears creep in Fears that for a moment Corrupt me and try to tell me that we will never last That our love will fade in time They lie to me and for a moment I find myself foolishly believing them But then my mind discovers the unwanted visitors The fears are forced to flee Reality sets back in and reminds me of our love The love that will always drive out the fears I will remain confident through it all Arguements, angry silences, happy snapshots, Laughing to the point of tears And every moment in between Love is a great and wonderful power And in the end, love will conquer all

Everyone around us Keeps saying the same thing Something that I have grown Tired of hearing Over and over again No matter how they word it, Meant it or want it to take place They keep saying That we have become too serious Too foolish in our love That we need a break from each other A cool down period To reconsider what we've started And where we're going Our chances of standing strong Against the world To stay together forever That we are setting ourselves up For disaster or heartbreak When our love stops shinning To be honest I used to believe What they had to say Doubts and fears sprouted inside me But now I believe There is nothing That could ever break our bond Everything we have gone through Good and bad Has changed the basis of who we are As individuals and as a couple I also believe That this change has made us stronger So strong that I am ready For me and you to stand up Against the world Even if all we do is teach them What dedicat

I have all of this pent up anger So much I wish I could say Get off my chest But deep inside it must stay It would only make things worse Than what they already are I know that sounds impossible But I know better My anger is a blade Cut deep into my heart My wrists are crying out To show my pain In a physical way They tempt me every day But strong I shall stand Because you are standing strong too I made you promise and I promised But still I am surrounded By anger and tears I look around and all I see is you And the great mistake we've made For so long you won't be there To hold me when I need you But for you and only you I will stand strong Because the edge of that black hole Is creeping near I know with time You will be here To rescue me once more

Once again we've been seperated This time longer than before And while I know it could be much worse All I can feel is empty inside My tears have poured And drained me of emotion I am numb from fear But still, at the thought of you My eyes begin to tear up once more And my mind begins to race With all of these thoughts of what was said And how it was said The punishment that you recieved Then I realize they're punishing me too Taking you away from me Is the worst kind of punishment And that is exactly what they have done You are afraid that you will fall Well so am I But we have to remember God has a plan And however things turn out It will be for the best Do not lose hope for our love is strong And will carry us through Until the happy times return once more

I have prayed so many times Down on my knees, Hands clasped tight and head knelt Slowly I sink deep into thought Only wishing for a simply answer To an even simpler question That has followed me from day one Or I suppose I should say The day you looked deep into my eyes And for the first time Radiated the passion of love Instead of just friendship Love I already felt so strong My question is only this: How did we find a love so true? Rare in a world where society Has become so selfish and cold I have bowed down before our Lord And I have never been answered Each time the same reply comes He simply tells me to calm my doubts Cause a question implies doubts And to just be grateful That I have found your love Love enough to save two vulnerable lives Through this life altering experience I have found that God Shouldn't be doubted I now believe that prayer Is one of the best ways to shorten the gap Between hearts of worship For true loves only occurs When

I truly am at a loss for words That is how amazing your love is to me I am sitting here trying to think But all I can think about is you You consume my every thought At times my mind goes blank The extent of what you do to me Is truly unexplainable Words could never do justice For the bond we have together We have loved each other Through good times and bad, Meeting family and making life long friends We have been through so much And have so much more to come So I guess I proved myself wrong My mind wasn't blank after all

In your mirror you see your reflection As you do in any other mirror But in reality Every mirror has its own story And has seen everything you choose to show it Some have seen morbid, bloody scenes Murder, suicide and arson But have also seen joyful moments Such as marriage and child birth Your mirror sees far beyond you It sees everything you do So I believe now is the time Sit back and ask yourself What has your mirror seen? No matter how many endless times You thought you were all alone You weren't So next time you are in despair Look around for that mirror Your reflection may save you

Your eyes are like small crystal balls They try to show only what they want But if someone special looks deeply into them Which for you, only I can do They see everything Your feelings, dreams, future and determination Your courage, bravery, fears, and weaknesses All it takes is one quick glance And I can see everything Just by looking in your eyes Many times I've seen myself And who I've always wished to be You tell me that in your eyes I am perfect Amazingly I believe you But only because when you look into mine You reflect that image And for that I thank you Because with one look You make me feel better Than I ever have before And no one else Has been able to do that before

For as long as I can remember I have been seeking To find a perfect man The man of my dreams I often found myself drifting off Into my own imaginary place To conjure up a special list As list of all the qualities This man should ultimately possess I have kept this list locked away Far from reach until now I never in a million years I imagined I would ever meet a man Who would have the ability To turn all of my far fetched fantasies Into a wonderful reality But I met you and you did just that I now drift away With a brand new sole purpose My special place is now dedicated To piecing together the wonderful journey Of the rest of our lives Now meant to be spent in unison For as long as God will allow All because you looked deep into my eyes The night we first met And forever touched my soul You saved me like no one else could And complete me Just like I dreamed some man could I am glad it was you I now realize That no one person is capable of perfection Bu

In today's time Young love has a tendency to fail No matter how strong They thought their feelings were This failure can be the result Of many different scenarios played out They can grow apart And come to want different things from life Their relationship could evolve Into something purely sexual They could face objection from their families Which could tear them apart They could reach a mutual agreement That their feelings have changed Or disappeared all together I know I have listed many things That can inevitably go wrong But the scary thought Is that my list is only a few Of the multiple possibilities I only say this to warn my peers As to what could lie ahead For their mind and heart I fear that my horrible examples Will take place in our own relationship I've often tried to put The negative feelings aside But often times doing that Causes me to pull away from you The man who loves me most I hide those feelings And the following horribl

Here lately I feel That all we've done is argue So now when a disagreement arises I grow deathly silent And you wonder why I wanted to tell you Why it is I grow so silent So now I am writing this poem To let you know how I feel When we argue Or have a small disagreement Your voice sounds so sad Hearing your voice like that Brings up feeling I don't believe I've ever felt So strong before At the first sound of your upset voice I feel like my heart Is being torn from my chest And with every word you say My suffering heart is ripped Into a million little pieces Over and over again I know this sounds extreme But these bitter words Don't even begin to do justice For the hurt I feel about your dispare When I was lost in all of my tears I couldn't find the words To express all of this to you Now that you've been told The reason for my desperate silence I hope you understand Or at least forgive me For my resistance to argue with you

Every person has their secrets Deep dark secrets That they save to share With that one special person And that person alone I suppose you Are my one special person You know things about me That I have never told any other Secrets that could change How my closest friends see me I have my fair share Of those secrets and memories And so do you Secrets that others Can't even comprehend The only difference Between our secrets and others Is that we have shared Them all with each other And will until the end Our secrets have A lot in common We have been through Many similar things In our short lifetime However, The damage done by those memories Can't be compared Because every person handles things In their own different ways I believe the damage Has been more traumatic To me than to you For my memories Will haunt me forever Yet you always manage To understand just exactly What I'm going through At any given moment No matter what You

I used to think I would never need a man I guess in some ways that still hold true But there is one big difference I don't need just any man I need you Before I met you I thought I was happy I thought my life had meaning However, I was horribly wrong You came into my life and my soul You made everything ten times better Than it had ever been before You've made me feel Things I have never felt before You kiss me and I melt You place your hand on the small of my back As we walk together And I feel this amazing sense Of peace and comfort All of this to love and enjoy For as long as we live And you saved it all for me How amazing you are in so many ways And yet you remain mine And only mine I love you so very much From now until always

I am in love with you So much that all I think about Is how much I care for you Many think I'm obsessed Others think that I'm crazy That very well might be But if it doesn't bother you Then I don't mind Being labeled insane All for the sake of love You say you'll never leave So I do not worry About having my heart broken I think it is a wonderful thing That I have been consumed by love For what is better to be consumed by Than the greatest emotion of them all ...LOVE!

There are times when I get frustrated With things you've said Or because of things you've done There are times when I Do the same thing to you I upset you just the same But at any given moment No matter what else is going on In your arms is the only place I want to be With a simple touch of your hand A wonderful feeling of peace Comes over me No other joyful experience Could ever replace that feeling of peace Nothing else could compare To the simplicity of our love You make me feel so very safe When I am in your arms You are my great protector Your loving touch makes it seem Like the world stops turning And our love is all that ever seems to matter When we embrace I feel as if We are the only souls in existance In the universe that surrounds us These are the moment that I will treasure For the rest of my life As long as I'm with you

I know you love me, I really do But there are still times You leave me feeling so very alone And desperate to simply hear That you care Even though I know you do You say you'll wait for me Then something happens, I don't know what, And you leave me anyway It hurts deep down inside I start to cry lonely tears Tears of pain, doubt and fear Run down my face every single time Taking my eyeliner for a ride You put me through all of this Yet you know it is wrong You just need to realize The affect you have on me and my emotions But I still know you love me Somehow I can still feel it Just know I'm not writing this to hurt you Only to let you know How you make me feel sometimes Despite the love we share For you've told me many times You want to know if you've upset me Well to be honest, This is one of the rare times that you do Please forgive me If I came across all wrong I just had to let you know I don't know if I can handle It

Many people face demons For some it is a simple matter Of everyday life For others it is a life altering Sometimes even life ending experience Even though people believe They face these demons alone It affects everyone around them I fear my demons have been a little kinder Maybe even a little less complicated Than I have heard other demons have been My demons were just struggles With certain aspects of life While for some demons have been Hell sent Servants of the Devil himself Fighting to take over their life Their very being I find this quite unfair For why should others deserve To face such demons When most of us only struggle With everyday conflicts of life Things that are much easier to fix Than an evil spirit invading our body And ending our life Please tell me why I need to know Because I know that they deserve better And no one should have to end like that Especially when their spirit Is purer than mine

Here lately I have given and impression The impression that I am doubting our love For this I am truly sorry I am writing this to tell you That I love you with my everything And I cannot wait To spend the rest of my life with you The only reason I am voicing doubts Doubts that are so horrible, So very scary, that I felt I had to say That they are only there because Everyone seems to be against us I know how I feel about you And I know those feelings are returned I am just afraid, so very afraid, That they will pull us away anyway I can honestly say at this very moment in time And for the rest of my life I feel as if I could not stand To live without you by my side I would end my life in a heartbeat For that is all it would take If they were to tell us we had to end This wonderful thing we have I hope you can forgive me For all of the negative things I have said I never meant to give the impression That I no longer care because I do More than you'll ever

In the beginning things were perfect Our feelings had never yet been doubted But now it seems While things still seem great Shadows have been cast Rapidly covering the faith And all of the false hope That things would never change Well things are changing The outcome is not so clear But I know we will have to fight these shadows Maybe for just a little while Maybe even forever This is why I struggle With the constant internal war Raging on inside my heart Because no one ever me I would have to fight The darkest of shadows Horrid fears and doubts For the truest of all loves All the while, having the world Ready and waiting for us to give up What gives this world This lonely and desolate world The right to judge us And all because we want to see the light The light of eternal peace At the far end of the tunnel of life But amazingly despite all of the bad That must inevitably come with the good I expect to see that wonderful light At the very end of that tu

The Bible has many verses Covering almost every emotion or subject Verses on fear and doubt On happiness and love And most everything between These verses are important They tell us how to live our lives And what is expected from us To get into heaven I know this for I have been told this many times But somehow I still believe These verses have their loop holes For instance, our love, It seems to break the mold I have questioned this many times And still I come to the same conclusion As long as there is love Bonding our hearts for eternity We can confess for everything we have done That has been declared sinful We do all this, repent and rededicate, So long as in the end When all is said and done We stand by our love Love for Christ and each other To pull us through And in the end take us to heaven To live happily ever after

Have you ever noticed How contradicting our world is? Many people rejoice in our bliss, While society is opposed to what we have. You see, our relationship is a blessing, No longer in disguise. Our love saved one another From and end. And end so dreadful That few will ever truly grasp How essential our love was And is to this day. Now tell me, With all our love has done, How can it be bad? Why do we deserve to be struck down? All because society disapproves. In all honesty, It is solely because We are so young. Well society can go to hell! Age shouldn't matter. Love and happiness are the important things, At least they should be. This is why I continue to love you With all of my heart, soul and being While remaining at peace Simply because I know society is everchanging And maybe, just maybe, Someday we will be the trend. And all because we fell in love Deep, true, everlasting love At such a young age.

I once thought that I loved him I once thought that he was the one That razor then looked so soothing That razor almost ended my brief life I met you and everything changed I met you and everything looks so clear now I realized that I never loved him I realized that it was all tricks of the mind You saved me from self destruction You saved me like no one else could You taught me that you're the only one I could ever truly love You taught me that you're the person my heart has always been searching for I am forever grateful that you came into my life I am forever grateful that you will always be there You say that I'm all you'll ever want You say that I'm all you'll ever need I love that you say those things and mean it I love you

In my short existence I have been faced with many situations Some good but most of them bad At least that's how it used to be You see... You changed all of that You make my world perfect You cheer me up when I am down You love me exactly as I am Now at the very thought of you The biggest smile comes to my face I could sit for hours on end And all the time, fantasize about you My dreams become the sweetest things So long as you play the star role Everything, every aspect of my life Changed the moment I met you Now the emptiness is gone And for once...Just once... I feel whole, like never before And all because of you My one and only, my true love You make my life complete I will forever be indebted to you And all of this because You said you love me too

Words... They define and shape our lives Without them communication would be weak And the world would be a dark, lonely place Words... They can be harmful or inspirational Many times they are spoken without thought They can show kindness and compassion Or spread hatred to everyone Words... There are too many to count They are constantly being changed There are books to explain them And people to teach them Words... How can words do and mean so much And yet I can't find just the right ones To fully express my feelings for you

For so long I tried Comprehending who you had become And to stop missing The person I once loved For so long I feared I would never get over you And that the ghost of our past Would forever haunt my future For so long I cried Praying for the memories to fade And hoping I would forget what we shared Like you have forgotten me For so long I wondered Why I couldn't let go And why you still held A piece of my broken heart For so long I put myself through hell And couldn't figure out why But today an epiphany made everything come full circle I finally realized what was wrong Looking back on it all, my dear, You never fought for me Never once did you put up a fight Instead you walked away Just as quietly as I did And actually, I fought for our friendship More than you fought for our relationship I have said all I can Any other words And you don't care to listen You have moved on Now its my turn Not only to move on But to embrace love and

You know I love you You say you love me too But what does that really mean? Does that mean we need each other? Does that mean we are in love? Does that mean we will be together forever Or that we will still love each other tomorrow? To me it all means so much more than that It means that forever is too short Eternity will not come soon enough And my heart and soul are yours To do with as you please My feelings are strong but the miracle is... You feel the same You share my every hope, dream and thought You complete me so My feelings will never end but my words will never do justice Except for one little saying: I love you more than you'll ever know!

we are madly in love. we mean the world to each other. our feelings are completely mutual. we are both content in this wonderful knowledge. we want to spend the rest of our lives together. that all of eternity with you will still leave me wanting more. you deserve more. you strongly disagree. making love to you is the best experience of my life. we are blessed to have one another. true love never dies. someday we will be man and wife.

Here lately I know that times have been tough I know that my stress has brought everyone down Knowing this I felt a strong urge to say I am sorry for things that I've done, said, and thought You mean the world to me but I'm afraid you'll never know I love you so much This world needs to know Without you I am simply nothing A lonely girl at the bottom of a black hole You saved me You are an angel from heaven I will never be able to repay you for all that you have done But I would like to start by saying You are the one for me